I went to yoga class this morning for the first time in several months. As I sat in an opening squat, my bum resting on two stacked blocks for support, the teacher invited us to consider what we wanted out of our practice today.
Re-connect with your body, my inner self said.
Throughout the practice, she invited us to stay curious; to explore new positions; to wonder and be free. By the time I was lying in final resting pose, I was meditating on my phrase for this year.
When I chose this phrase to guide me through the year, I wanted to be intentional about connecting with people—with old friends as well as making new—forging new relationships in the new settings we have found ourselves in. I wanted to connect with my stories in a way that feels meaningful and profound. And I wanted to continue a path I had begun of reconnecting with my body in this time of mid-life. Being 43 makes me mid-life, right? It sure does feel like it.
I spent most of January connecting with my physical self. February too. I signed up for Apple Fitness+, bought several sets of weights, and began a new journey into regular strength training alongside my yoga routine.
Mid-February, we went on vacation, and then the entire family ended up with the flu. It took us a good four weeks to recover, and another three for me to feel like my body was mostly healed. I still found myself connecting with my physical self, but instead of through weights and yoga, it was through lots of water and rest.
There are still days when I feel more fatigued than usual, but maybe that’s just the nature of life these days. The weather has been gloomy—wet and dreary more often than not. This time of year is always the hardest for me. The quiet stillness of winter is gone, but the warmth and beauty of Spring is not quite here to stay. I often feel like a bear who has been hidden away in her cave; poking my head out to see if it’s time to come out of hibernation, only to find that the sun is not yet powerful enough to fully waken me from my slumber.
In early March, I made the difficult decision to pause my memoir work so that I can create opportunities for my girls to learn alongside other kids their age. Much of time since then has been spent connecting with other homeschool moms who share a similar vision; being curious about how we might join together in community to make our homeschool lives deeper, richer, and more abundant. Without piling hundreds of extra activities onto our very full calendars.
In all of this exploration, I’ve discovered a new creative energy. But because the creativity is flowing freely, it hasn’t felt like I’m doing any writing work. When talking to a friend about this yesterday, she reminded me that the creative work I am doing does count as writing work. Maybe it’s not the deep reflective work that my memoir has been, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less beautiful or profound. I think I sometimes get so caught up in wanting to find redemption in the painful parts of life, that I forget to pay attention to the many ways creativity—and writing—feels easy and fun. Writing doesn’t always have to feel painful and hard.
My memoir about finding myself in the kitchen is on the side burner for now. Like a good pot of chili, it’s simmering. Sitting quietly, waiting to be tasted to see which flavors it needs a bit more of. And in the meantime, I’m embarking on a little something new. I’m not quite ready to share details yet, but when the time is right, I promise you’ll be the first to know.
I’ve read a lot of books over the last several months. My favorite has been North Woods by Daniel Mason. I love thinking about a single piece of property and all of the people who have lived on it over the course of its lifetime. I had read mixed reviews of this book, but I simply adored everything about it. The word choices, the interweaving of the stories, the scenery and locale; it was everything I wanted in a book.
When I found James: A Novel by Percival Everett on the Lucky Day shelf at the library, I knew I had to stop everything and read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, so I could fully appreciate the retelling from Jim/James’s perspective. It took me ten days to read Huck Finn. It took me two to read James. It is simply unputdownable. Friends, please add this book pairing to your must read list. And find some people to talk to about it. It is so worth your time.
We are studying the Civil War in history, so I just finished Master Slave Husband Wife by Ilyon Woo (I highly recommend) and am currently reading All We Were Promised by Ashton Lattimore. I’m also reading a pairing of Jane Eyre and Jane Steele for this month’s book club, and The Mysterious Benedict Society as a bedtime read aloud to my kids.
**You can find all of these books (and support a local bookstore) at my Bookshop online store. A very small portion of your purchase will go to support my writing. You get a new book, a local bookstore gets a few funds, and I get money to buy a new pen. It’s really a win/win/win!
This is the season where I’m longing for fresh produce, but there’s still nothing coming out of the local ground. We’re eating a lot of Roast Chicken (gift link) with whatever veggies we have in the freezer.
If you are in a colder part of the country (like me) and still need good comfort food, this Turkey Meatloaf is out of this world. I triple the recipe and freeze half of it for those nights when I just can’t find it in me to cook.
I made a version of this One-Pan Roasted Fish (gift link) last night and I want to eat it every day for a week. It is SO GOOD! I made a wild rice blend to go with it, along with sautéed mushrooms, shallot, garlic and spinach.
By now you all know Taylor Swift’s new album is out. I don’t love it like I have loved some of her stuff before, but I also don’t hate it. What I am loving is this Cultivating Winter: Hope playlist that somehow showed up in my newsfeed. I know it’s technically not winter anymore, but I’m finding it to be a fantastic companion when I need something quiet and peaceful.
“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”
~ Martin Luther
Journaling Prompt: What’s the apple tree you want to plant?
Until Next Time,
Love the simmering chili analogy. ❤️ cheering you on, friend!
Loved the update and cheering you on in all the creativity you’re pouring into the word!