💌Insider News: Five Things I Learned on Retreat 💌
You might remember I was feeling a little in over my head when making final preparations for the Craft & Revision retreat. So many of you have reached out since then to ask how my time was. The short answer is, it was so, so, good.
My five days away were so full of writing exercises and other activities that I didn’t have a chance to really process much of what was happening until I got home. I’ve been home exactly one week, and it’s taken me that long to wrap my brain around some of the most important things I learned.
When sharing some of my experiences with a friend last week, she said “It sounds like this might have been a pivotal experience for you, and quite literally may have changed your life.” I’ll be thinking about what happened in Durham for quite some time. Today, I’m sharing five things I learned while I was away.
Writing is more than putting words down on a page.
Friday morning, I spread out what felt like hundreds of pages of printed drafts. I read them, I marked them up, I made notecards and threw stuff away. I didn’t write a single original word, but it was the hardest work I’ve done since starting this book project at the beginning of this year. I have written so many words about food over the last twelve years, but I’ve struggled to find the story behind the words. I know there is a story somewhere—a story of perseverance, a story of hope, a story of God’s grace in the midst of chaos—but how to tell that story to the world is not as easy as simply putting words on the page.
Sometimes writing looks nothing like writing and more like reading. Sometimes writing looks like keeping your hands busy with yarn or paint while you think about where you’ve been and how it all fits in. And sometimes writing looks like sleeping in so that your brain has mental capacity to think.
As my friend Charlotte Donlon says, “All of life is the writing life.”
Walking is part of writing too.
Perhaps the biggest a-ha moment of the weekend came when I walked to get coffee on Sunday morning. The wind was brisk enough to keep me moving. The sun was bright enough for me to need shades. My legs moved in sync to the beat in my ears. Right about the time Taylor sang “You’re on your own, kid; You always have been,” I thought:
What if this book is all about your stove?
The next day, one of our revision assignments was to take a walk, telling ourselves the story of our essay or book. I walked around the block, telling myself the story of an art exhibit David and I once saw for a stalled essay I’ve been working on for more than a year. Right about the time I crossed the street to my final destination, I had another mid-walk thought: What if my husband isn’t part of this story at all?
Both questions reshape how I write my story.
Both questions help me move past my feelings of being stuck.
Both questions came to mind because I put the pen down and went for a walk.
Don’t Be Afraid to Make the Cut.
On Sunday, we had an activity called “Revision Bootcamp” led by the amazing Lauren Winner. One activity was to take a pair of scissors and cut your project into pieces, then try to rearrange it into a new structure, kind of like a puzzle. I cut my 7-page art exhibit essay into twenty pieces. As I rearranged them on the floor, I realized half of them were unnecessary for the story I am trying to tell.
The process reminded me of when I first learned to write essays in the third grade. My teacher had us write every thought on notecards, then organize them on the floor before we actually began to write.
The physical act of cutting up what I thought was my final draft gave me a new insight on what my essay was all about. It’s possible my discarded pieces have a story of their own, so I refrained from throwing them away. Instead, I folded them up and stuck them in the pocket of my journal.
Critical thinking is like riding a bike.
Trying to seriously pursue writing again has felt a lot like going back to the office again after a ten year hiatus to raise children. As a mother, I often forget that I had a professional life before kids. When stuck in the daily grind of parenthood, I often forget how much education I have. Politics, literature, law, theology—I have a lot of experience with talking about tough subjects—and my brain is able to deal with hard things outside of my motherhood journey.
Last weekend rekindled that part of my brain. Going back into academic conversations and the critical thinking necessary to do revision work felt a little like riding a bike. I felt a little rusty, but by the end of the weekend, I felt confident in my ability to hang with the best thinkers and writers.
There is no place like home.
Sleeping away from home always reminds me just how much I love being at home. I got very little sleep on my retreat. My Bed & Breakfast was a wonderful and charming place, but the street noise was much louder than I am used to and the bed was much harder than my bed at home. I was also incredibly grateful I brought Plum Deluxe tea with me, because the coffee at the B&B wasn’t up to my very snobby coffee standards. Don’t get me wrong, I loved every minute of my time away. I’ll definitely do it again. I do believe the Craft & Revision retreat changed my life. But boy oh boy was I glad to come home.
Thanks again for being an insider. If you love what you read, would you mind encouraging a friend to become an insider too?
Coming Wednesday—Five Quick Things: The Gift Edition. Have someone you’re struggling to buy for? Send me a quick note and I’ll see what I can come up with!
Until next time,
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I got chills reading this, friend. You are doing something great. And it is encouraging me, too.