I’ve found myself asking similar questions when doing lectio divina recently. I find Nadia BW’a posts often encourage me to read Scriptiure through new lenses. I’ve read a lot of Amy-Jill Levine of late and her Jewish perspective has helped me shake things up a bit too.
I am! My spiritual director recommended it to me recently and I listened the next day and then promptly forgot about it. Thank you for the reminder because I did enjoy it.
Hahaha! I tried to just cut and paste your beautiful response to the Lord's Prayer but evidently copied the whole thing. I guess that's okay...I did love the whole offering, just loved the Lord's Prayer response especially!
Are you familiar with "Pray As You Go"? The readings lately have really been pulling me into a space to think creatively about what the literal words of Scripture actually mean for us right now, today. This response practically wrote itself - definitely a thing of the Holy Spirit.
I just can't do without the sleep. I've tried. I just need so many hours to function. I blame my kids, because for the first eight years of parenthood, I didn't have more than 4 hours at a time. I think I'm still catching up on lost sleep.
I try getting up to write before the kids get up, but then I feel a lot of pressure to get something done... and then I often just end up wasting that time. Enjoyed all your thoughts here!!
When I do (very rarely) get up before the kids, I feel this innate desire to just sit. In the dark. In the quiet. Alone with my thoughts. I don't even want to write them down because it almost feels like the pen invades my quiet space. HA!
Phew if this is full of words I needed to read. Thank you for sharing. No margins definitely feels real. And I too will ALWAYS choose sleep over basically anything else 😅
Oh Amber, I'm so glad it resonated. I almost didn't publish this because it felt too whiney. But I'm realizing now that I am not alone, and there's a whole bunch of us trying to find tiny little white spaces to create something in. Thanks for being here!
I relate to this is so many ways! I don’t work well with deadlines or expectations in many of the same ways you mentioned.
I’m feeling those tight or nonexistent margins that come with homeschooling for 10+ years. It often feels like we aren’t allowed to voice that simply because we choose this lifestyle. But it’s ok to choose it, value it deeply, while also feeling drained by it and giving it a little side-eye sometimes for the lack of personal space. 😊
Last weekend, my husband and kids went to watch a polo match, leaving me at home alone for four hours. I considered going with them for half a second, and then realized I haven’t had time at home alone for many months now. “I’m going to read a book,” I told them, when they asked what I would do with my time. “You should write!” my nine-year-old said, galloping out the door.
You’re right, I thought. I should write. My newsletter is past due, after all.
Soul Munchies is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Subscribed
It’s been so long since I sat down to write about whatever is on my mind that I didn’t even know what to focus on. I have no habit of writing right now. It’s not that creative work isn’t happening. Creative work is happening like crazy. I’m creating Kids Book Clubs and Shakespeare Classes for middle school and high school kids. I’m developing a Reconciling in Christ core team. I’m editing Creative Nonfiction essays for Literary Mama. I’m reading hard books, taking notes in my commonplace book, talking about ideas with my writing friends and mentors.
When I have been able to block out writing time, I’ve been writing scenes that I hope will one day come together in a book. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to pay attention to what’s happening around me and turn it into words of beauty. I can’t quite remember what it’s like to work on an essay. Or a poem. Or even a newsletter opening. I have so many ideas swirling around my head (hello journaling series* that I started but can’t get off the ground). It’s not that I lose interest, it’s just that the days only have so many hours in them. And those hours are so very full.
As a mother, I often talk about creating in the margins, but what happens when the margins are non-existent? Like a piece of composition paper with no blank space on the side, there’s just very little room.
I have friends that will stay up late or get up early to claim the writing time they need. I know writers who swear by morning pages, or writing just a few lines at the end of the day. Kate Baer wrote her first book of poetry in the notes app of her phone. Mama writers everywhere are writing frantically in the school pickup line.
But ya’ll. If given a choice between sleep and writing, I will choose sleep every single time. I’m not going to set an alarm so I can sneak in a few pages before my children awake. They get up before the birds most days. Homeschoolers don’t get the luxury (or is it a curse?) of school pickup lines. And by the end of the day, I am just burnt toast.
The thing about creating in the margins is that I’m not great at implementing deadlines on myself. I’ve always struggled at publishing on a regular schedule. I tried blogging through challenges or using theme days way back in the early days of 2008—can you believe Soul Munchies is almost sixteen? I sure can’t.
I tried an every other week publishing plan. Nothing seems to be successful in helping me publish on a regular schedule. I write goals and set deadlines, but then I watch as the calendar days roll by and I begin to feel guilty for letting my readers down. I find myself in a cycle of missing self-imposed deadlines, then not publishing because I’m behind, and then wondering if I should keep writing at all.
When I joined Substack in 2021, it was to create a free newsletter to connect with my readers once a month. Over time, Substack exploded, and I felt this internal pressure to write more, publish more, share more, be seen more. When talking to some friends about this last week, they reminded me that Substack can be anything—whatever—I want it to be.
What a freeing realization that was. So here’s where I’m at right now: There will always be a monthly newsletter sometime near the first Friday of the month. But other than that, I have no set goals or plans. Maybe you’ll hear from me once a week, or maybe you won’t. Maybe I’ll write about motherhood, or maybe it’ll be about food. Maybe it will be poetry, or maybe it will be about homeschool. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I get rid of the deadlines, I won’t feel like such a failure, the words will flow more freely and frequently, and I will keep showing up to face the page.
*That journaling series I mentioned? I’m putting it on hold. I realized what I really want to do is lead an in-person journaling workshop, not just write about it. As soon as I finish developing it, I’ll let you know. Maybe there will be a virtual option - or maybe you’ll just have to come visit me in Massachusetts for a week or so.
It’s banned books week! I’m appalled that there are some books that are kept out of public libraries. No matter what the subject matter might be, I want to be able to form my own opinions about books. I don’t want anyone to tell me what I can or can’t read. Here are just a few of my favorite challenged books. Take a look in your public library. If it isn’t available, how about requesting that they purchase a copy?
And Tango Makes Three is one of my all time favorite picture books about a penguin family. I bought a copy when I couldn’t find it at my local library in Atlanta many moons ago.
Not your average RomCom, Red White and Royal Blue is adorable, fun, and the perfect weekend read.
I read Fahrenheit 451 (which is excellent on audio, by the way) for the first time two years ago and loved every single word of it. I’m always amazed when older books feel so incredibly timely and relevant.
I have not read Pet, but it has been on my wishlist for a while. I snagged a copy with Bookshop’s current sale (15% off with code BannedBooks23) and will read it as soon as it arrives. All about monsters, it feels like a perfect Halloweeny book.
Did you know The Great Gatsby, The Catcher in the Rye, The Grapes of Wrath, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Color Purple, Beloved, Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men, Brave New World, Animal Farm, Gone With The Wind, The Lord of the Rings, A Separate Peace, and even Harry Potter make the list of Banned Books? Can you imagine the world without these?
How many of these have you read?
In between Shakespeare and David Copperfield (I have 200 pages left, friends! The end is in sight!) I got some really good reading done last month.
Bambi by Felix Salten, Translated by Damion Searls
You might think Bambi is a book written for kids, with the Disney movie and all, but I’m here to tell you this book is way deeper than the Disney film leads us to believe. This book is gorgeous. It’s a beautiful depiction of nature, of life and death, of the struggle to live, and of how a community of diversity can unite rather than divide. It will stay with me for a very long time.
Charis in the World of Wonders by Marly Youmans
This year, I joined Well Read Moms for some accountability in reading at least one hard book every month, and Charis was the first book of our year together. I had never heard of this book or its author before, but you better believe I’ll be recommending it (and her) to everyone I know. Youmans does an incredible job portraying the dichotomy between the theology of predestination with theology of the cross with beautiful storytelling and grace.
Hallowe’en Party by Agatha Christie
The Woebie pick for October! I’m about halfway through, but if I know anything about Agatha Christie, she’ll keep me guessing until the very end.
Summer produce felt too short lived this year, so I’m still buying eggplant off the misfit table for Simple Eggplant Parmesan, Eggplant Dal (gifted link), and Eggplant Involtini (all of which freeze well, btw).
As the winter squash and brussels sprouts begin to roll in, I’m loving the return of the Sheet Pan Roasted Veggies and Kielbasa.
For lunch, I’m eating Kale Salad on repeat. I massage the kale with a Champagne Vinaigrette and add cherry tomatoes, shaved parmesan, boiled egg, and homemade sourdough croutons
‘Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.’ ~Luke 11:2
In a world that feels so fractious and full of anger, animosity, and hate, these opening words of the Lord’s Prayer are feeling very powerful right now. Here’s a little psalm I wrote in response.
Hi Crystal! Very much loved and resonated so well with this, especially your comparison to burnt toast!!! Made me chuckle! But, I am reading and responding to this as my baby is about to wake up from a nap, after I squeezed in ten minutes to draft a new idea in my Notes app, while working remotely and editing AI-written content. (What a world.) I will also choose sleep every time, but there are definitely some mornings where I feel guilty for NOT getting up at 5:00 to write. I struggle to schedule myself, too. I just have to accept that it will happen when it happens, and when I see an opportunity, take it. Or take a nap.
(Also, I'm here via Callie—I'm taking her Heart to Page course and she recommended your writing! Nice to "meet" you!)
I’ve found myself asking similar questions when doing lectio divina recently. I find Nadia BW’a posts often encourage me to read Scriptiure through new lenses. I’ve read a lot of Amy-Jill Levine of late and her Jewish perspective has helped me shake things up a bit too.
Oh Nadia always shakes things loose for me. Off to hunt for Amy-Jill Levine now!
I am! My spiritual director recommended it to me recently and I listened the next day and then promptly forgot about it. Thank you for the reminder because I did enjoy it.
Hahaha! I tried to just cut and paste your beautiful response to the Lord's Prayer but evidently copied the whole thing. I guess that's okay...I did love the whole offering, just loved the Lord's Prayer response especially!
Thank you!
Are you familiar with "Pray As You Go"? The readings lately have really been pulling me into a space to think creatively about what the literal words of Scripture actually mean for us right now, today. This response practically wrote itself - definitely a thing of the Holy Spirit.
I love this so much. And I am with you--I WILL CHOOSE SLEEP every dang time!!
I just can't do without the sleep. I've tried. I just need so many hours to function. I blame my kids, because for the first eight years of parenthood, I didn't have more than 4 hours at a time. I think I'm still catching up on lost sleep.
So good friend! And I am with you in being unable to get anything done at night!! Maybe we need a zoom accountability one night
I'm not even sure the writing would be good even with zoom! Ha! But I do love this idea of an 8pm co-writing time. I'm going to think on this....
I try getting up to write before the kids get up, but then I feel a lot of pressure to get something done... and then I often just end up wasting that time. Enjoyed all your thoughts here!!
When I do (very rarely) get up before the kids, I feel this innate desire to just sit. In the dark. In the quiet. Alone with my thoughts. I don't even want to write them down because it almost feels like the pen invades my quiet space. HA!
Phew if this is full of words I needed to read. Thank you for sharing. No margins definitely feels real. And I too will ALWAYS choose sleep over basically anything else 😅
Oh Amber, I'm so glad it resonated. I almost didn't publish this because it felt too whiney. But I'm realizing now that I am not alone, and there's a whole bunch of us trying to find tiny little white spaces to create something in. Thanks for being here!
I relate to this is so many ways! I don’t work well with deadlines or expectations in many of the same ways you mentioned.
I’m feeling those tight or nonexistent margins that come with homeschooling for 10+ years. It often feels like we aren’t allowed to voice that simply because we choose this lifestyle. But it’s ok to choose it, value it deeply, while also feeling drained by it and giving it a little side-eye sometimes for the lack of personal space. 😊
Thank you for sharing!
Yes! The struggle is real! My body wants to sleep but my heart wants to write! 😴
You are welcome to borrow my copy of Short Stories by Jesus (her take on the parables) and/or Witness at the Cross.
I love this:
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Writing in the Margins
(even when they feel very very small)
CRYSTAL ROWE
OCT 17
READ IN APP
Last weekend, my husband and kids went to watch a polo match, leaving me at home alone for four hours. I considered going with them for half a second, and then realized I haven’t had time at home alone for many months now. “I’m going to read a book,” I told them, when they asked what I would do with my time. “You should write!” my nine-year-old said, galloping out the door.
You’re right, I thought. I should write. My newsletter is past due, after all.
Soul Munchies is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Subscribed
It’s been so long since I sat down to write about whatever is on my mind that I didn’t even know what to focus on. I have no habit of writing right now. It’s not that creative work isn’t happening. Creative work is happening like crazy. I’m creating Kids Book Clubs and Shakespeare Classes for middle school and high school kids. I’m developing a Reconciling in Christ core team. I’m editing Creative Nonfiction essays for Literary Mama. I’m reading hard books, taking notes in my commonplace book, talking about ideas with my writing friends and mentors.
When I have been able to block out writing time, I’ve been writing scenes that I hope will one day come together in a book. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to pay attention to what’s happening around me and turn it into words of beauty. I can’t quite remember what it’s like to work on an essay. Or a poem. Or even a newsletter opening. I have so many ideas swirling around my head (hello journaling series* that I started but can’t get off the ground). It’s not that I lose interest, it’s just that the days only have so many hours in them. And those hours are so very full.
As a mother, I often talk about creating in the margins, but what happens when the margins are non-existent? Like a piece of composition paper with no blank space on the side, there’s just very little room.
I have friends that will stay up late or get up early to claim the writing time they need. I know writers who swear by morning pages, or writing just a few lines at the end of the day. Kate Baer wrote her first book of poetry in the notes app of her phone. Mama writers everywhere are writing frantically in the school pickup line.
But ya’ll. If given a choice between sleep and writing, I will choose sleep every single time. I’m not going to set an alarm so I can sneak in a few pages before my children awake. They get up before the birds most days. Homeschoolers don’t get the luxury (or is it a curse?) of school pickup lines. And by the end of the day, I am just burnt toast.
The thing about creating in the margins is that I’m not great at implementing deadlines on myself. I’ve always struggled at publishing on a regular schedule. I tried blogging through challenges or using theme days way back in the early days of 2008—can you believe Soul Munchies is almost sixteen? I sure can’t.
I tried an every other week publishing plan. Nothing seems to be successful in helping me publish on a regular schedule. I write goals and set deadlines, but then I watch as the calendar days roll by and I begin to feel guilty for letting my readers down. I find myself in a cycle of missing self-imposed deadlines, then not publishing because I’m behind, and then wondering if I should keep writing at all.
When I joined Substack in 2021, it was to create a free newsletter to connect with my readers once a month. Over time, Substack exploded, and I felt this internal pressure to write more, publish more, share more, be seen more. When talking to some friends about this last week, they reminded me that Substack can be anything—whatever—I want it to be.
What a freeing realization that was. So here’s where I’m at right now: There will always be a monthly newsletter sometime near the first Friday of the month. But other than that, I have no set goals or plans. Maybe you’ll hear from me once a week, or maybe you won’t. Maybe I’ll write about motherhood, or maybe it’ll be about food. Maybe it will be poetry, or maybe it will be about homeschool. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I get rid of the deadlines, I won’t feel like such a failure, the words will flow more freely and frequently, and I will keep showing up to face the page.
*That journaling series I mentioned? I’m putting it on hold. I realized what I really want to do is lead an in-person journaling workshop, not just write about it. As soon as I finish developing it, I’ll let you know. Maybe there will be a virtual option - or maybe you’ll just have to come visit me in Massachusetts for a week or so.
It’s banned books week! I’m appalled that there are some books that are kept out of public libraries. No matter what the subject matter might be, I want to be able to form my own opinions about books. I don’t want anyone to tell me what I can or can’t read. Here are just a few of my favorite challenged books. Take a look in your public library. If it isn’t available, how about requesting that they purchase a copy?
And Tango Makes Three is one of my all time favorite picture books about a penguin family. I bought a copy when I couldn’t find it at my local library in Atlanta many moons ago.
Not your average RomCom, Red White and Royal Blue is adorable, fun, and the perfect weekend read.
I read Fahrenheit 451 (which is excellent on audio, by the way) for the first time two years ago and loved every single word of it. I’m always amazed when older books feel so incredibly timely and relevant.
I have not read Pet, but it has been on my wishlist for a while. I snagged a copy with Bookshop’s current sale (15% off with code BannedBooks23) and will read it as soon as it arrives. All about monsters, it feels like a perfect Halloweeny book.
Did you know The Great Gatsby, The Catcher in the Rye, The Grapes of Wrath, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Color Purple, Beloved, Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men, Brave New World, Animal Farm, Gone With The Wind, The Lord of the Rings, A Separate Peace, and even Harry Potter make the list of Banned Books? Can you imagine the world without these?
How many of these have you read?
In between Shakespeare and David Copperfield (I have 200 pages left, friends! The end is in sight!) I got some really good reading done last month.
Bambi by Felix Salten, Translated by Damion Searls
You might think Bambi is a book written for kids, with the Disney movie and all, but I’m here to tell you this book is way deeper than the Disney film leads us to believe. This book is gorgeous. It’s a beautiful depiction of nature, of life and death, of the struggle to live, and of how a community of diversity can unite rather than divide. It will stay with me for a very long time.
Charis in the World of Wonders by Marly Youmans
This year, I joined Well Read Moms for some accountability in reading at least one hard book every month, and Charis was the first book of our year together. I had never heard of this book or its author before, but you better believe I’ll be recommending it (and her) to everyone I know. Youmans does an incredible job portraying the dichotomy between the theology of predestination with theology of the cross with beautiful storytelling and grace.
Hallowe’en Party by Agatha Christie
The Woebie pick for October! I’m about halfway through, but if I know anything about Agatha Christie, she’ll keep me guessing until the very end.
Summer produce felt too short lived this year, so I’m still buying eggplant off the misfit table for Simple Eggplant Parmesan, Eggplant Dal (gifted link), and Eggplant Involtini (all of which freeze well, btw).
As the winter squash and brussels sprouts begin to roll in, I’m loving the return of the Sheet Pan Roasted Veggies and Kielbasa.
For lunch, I’m eating Kale Salad on repeat. I massage the kale with a Champagne Vinaigrette and add cherry tomatoes, shaved parmesan, boiled egg, and homemade sourdough croutons
‘Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.’ ~Luke 11:2
In a world that feels so fractious and full of anger, animosity, and hate, these opening words of the Lord’s Prayer are feeling very powerful right now. Here’s a little psalm I wrote in response.
God of Love,
Send justice, grace, and mercy.
Teach us to love
the way you love. Free
of judgment, free of demand,
free of obligation. Help us stretch
our arms wide open to all
those around us.
Change our hearts
so the decisions we make reflect you.
Your will; your values; your love.
Thank you.
Hi Crystal! Very much loved and resonated so well with this, especially your comparison to burnt toast!!! Made me chuckle! But, I am reading and responding to this as my baby is about to wake up from a nap, after I squeezed in ten minutes to draft a new idea in my Notes app, while working remotely and editing AI-written content. (What a world.) I will also choose sleep every time, but there are definitely some mornings where I feel guilty for NOT getting up at 5:00 to write. I struggle to schedule myself, too. I just have to accept that it will happen when it happens, and when I see an opportunity, take it. Or take a nap.
(Also, I'm here via Callie—I'm taking her Heart to Page course and she recommended your writing! Nice to "meet" you!)